I usually don't post anything on this blog, but in celebration of National Adoption Awareness
Month. I wanted to share a short synopsis of how we chose and open adoption.
Now this was almost 9 years ago....so open adoption was just starting to become more and more common. I honestly don't remember most of the other birthmothers stories that were in that panel. I know there were a couple of birthmoms who had the beginnings of a good healthy open adoption. They had had contact and pictures with letters, etc. But the one girl that I will never forget...was a basket case. She placed about three weeks ago and hadn't had any contact (letters or pictures) for two weeks. She sobbed..."I just want to know she is ok and happy." I somehow immediately connected to her. (I know you all are going to give the big eye roll as you read this next part, but stick with me). When Matt (my husband) served his mission in Spain...I "waited" (well, faithfully in my heart....hehe) for him.
I missed him like crazy and found myself going crazy with doubt and worry when I didn't get a letter that week. And then a few days later, a letter would come. Turns out it was a holiday in Spain and no mail was picked up...or transfers or something like that had happened. As soon as I had that letter and pictures in my hand, everything was just fine. I would read and re-read that letter all week long, and then the process would start all over again. Feeling sad, doubtful, alone....and then a letter would come and the world was amazingly wonderful again.
In order to complete our certification to adopt, my husband
an I had to attend some classes about adoption and parenting. The one we were sitting in tonight was a
Birthmother Panel. I had confused
emotions as to if we wanted to have an open adoption or a closed adoption. (Some other time I will write about the three
big fears I had about open adoption and how they were all dissolved through our
open adoption.)
Now this was almost 9 years ago....so open adoption was just starting to become more and more common. I honestly don't remember most of the other birthmothers stories that were in that panel. I know there were a couple of birthmoms who had the beginnings of a good healthy open adoption. They had had contact and pictures with letters, etc. But the one girl that I will never forget...was a basket case. She placed about three weeks ago and hadn't had any contact (letters or pictures) for two weeks. She sobbed..."I just want to know she is ok and happy." I somehow immediately connected to her. (I know you all are going to give the big eye roll as you read this next part, but stick with me). When Matt (my husband) served his mission in Spain...I "waited" (well, faithfully in my heart....hehe) for him.
I missed him like crazy and found myself going crazy with doubt and worry when I didn't get a letter that week. And then a few days later, a letter would come. Turns out it was a holiday in Spain and no mail was picked up...or transfers or something like that had happened. As soon as I had that letter and pictures in my hand, everything was just fine. I would read and re-read that letter all week long, and then the process would start all over again. Feeling sad, doubtful, alone....and then a letter would come and the world was amazingly wonderful again.
I felt so bad for this sweet birthmother, being apart from her beautiful little baby whom she loved SO much. I could only hope
there would be a letter at home waiting for her with pictures and small gift of
love from her adoptive family.
It was at that point that I knew I would never leave our
birthmother wondering how her baby is doing.
And that our children will NEVER doubt the love of their birthmother.
When the birthmother panel was over, we came out of there
saying.. that we are going to be the BEST ADOPTIVE PARENTS EVER!...to our baby
and our birthmom.
We went into adoption with our fingers crossed that we would get a baby....never knew we would come out with a best friend too. We love our kids bithmoms and are so blessed to have them be a part of our family too.
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| With our Birthmoms at Cafe Rio |
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| Me and Cody with his Birthmom at his Baptism |
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| Got pedicures with Elena's Birthmom in Celebration of her Placement day. |
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